Egg-Freezing, Divorce — and More (Unexpected) Reasons to Give a Gift

In this edition of The Gift, we make the case for delighting your loved ones when they least expect it. Say, if they freeze their eggs? Plus, the best gifts for Gen Z and what to give a hobbyist.

Last summer, I schlepped to my friend Madi’s apartment carrying a tote bag crammed with delicate pressed paper, soft pink ribbon, gold washi tape, and all manner of stickers. Madi and I were on a mission: to craft a present for our friend Courtney, who was preparing to freeze her eggs.

Egg-freezing is not exactly a traditional gift-giving occasion. There wasn’t an egg party (although that’s a really good idea — write that down), and Courtney didn’t register for egg-freezing gifts (again, would have been brilliant). But in more than a decade of friendship, Courtney has celebrated Madi and me over and over again: ordering custom confetti to mark our engagements, stuffing gift bags for our bachelorette parties, and even showing up with a pastry-shaped Jellycat after I finished baking every recipe in a cookbook.

This occasion certainly felt just as momentous, if not more so, than those. And she was going to need our help getting through 12 days of self-administered shots. What to gift her, though, was a puzzle.

Freezer food seemed too dire; flowers too maudlin. Then Madi pitched a perfect plan: We give her 12 treats, one to open after each round of shots, like a wacky, very-much-out-of-season Advent calendar.

Taking inspiration from my colleague, editor Catherine Kast, who is on the record as queen of DIY Advent calendars, I retrieved an empty, years-old one to repurpose. Then I went hunting for joyful, tiny treats to fit in each pocket: things like a baby Baggu in the strawberry print, delectable Swedish gummies (Madi did not let me get the egg-shaped ones — apparently too on the nose), glossy lip balms, sample-sized vials of perfume, scrunchies, and micro claw clips. If I were doing this again, I would toss in an adorable fruit-shaped bag charm, too. We tucked each prize into a pocket, taped floral-patterned paper over all the openings, and tied it with a rose-colored bow to finish.

You don’t need big, celebratory life events to give your friends presents. Sometimes the littler moments — when they’re going through something difficult or facing a big change — can be the most meaningful times to show up with a treat.

When writer Ivy Elrod’s sister was taking the bar, Ivy gave her a big, snack-y care package to fuel her, and “she ended up being the only lawyer with snacks in the exam.” (This Japanese snack box is a particular favorite of my gift-expert colleagues.) I love the idea of giving a friend who is finalizing a divorce something celebratory, as long as it feels appropriate — writer Alexander Aciman once delighted a recently divorced friend with these vibrant, handblown champagne flutes. And on a sillier note, after newsletters editor Haley Jo Lewis’ boyfriend finished putting together their home office, he unveiled it with a mini inflatable tube man on her desk — a sorry-for-the-house-being-a-wreck present.

And as for Courtney, after the first few days, she was a total pro at handling the needles, breezily jabbing herself after breakfast or on the couch, mid-Love Island episode. But still she sent pictures of her prizes afterward, grinning, the animal-shaped ice packs that she stuck to her abdomen after each prick peeking out above her waistband.

“Your support was the actual gift, obviously,” Courtney said. “But the calendar was a small reminder of it every day.” Which is, in my opinion, exactly how a gift should feel — no matter the occasion.