I’m a White Elephant Expert. Here’s How to Nail Your Gift Swap.

In this edition of The Gift, our resident white-elephant expert shares the gifts that have historically dominated her swap.

There is something you should know about me: I am ruthless when it comes to white-elephant parties. I once made a 3-year-old cry and felt no remorse. (In my defense, the outdoor blanket he was clutching was really nice, and he wasn’t even an official player!) I regularly snatch gifts out of my beloved niece’s hands. This behavior might resonate for anyone who is familiar with rambunctious gift exchanges. For the rest of you, let me explain.

Every year, I throw one white-elephant party at my house and attend one on Christmas Day at my BFF’s home. Both of them are multigenerational, rowdy, and ruthless. Played right, a white elephant can be better than spiked punch at upping the humor and excitement at holiday gatherings. But they do require a clear code of conduct.

First, for the uninitiated, the basics: Everyone brings a wrapped gift and puts them together in a bounteous pile. Once everyone has drawn a number, controlled chaos ensues as players begin choosing, unwrapping, and stealing gifts. Any player who has a gift stolen can either steal from someone else or unwrap a new gift before the next player goes.

That’s the gist of how to play — but just as important are the rules you establish. It’s a law of nature that when a good gift is on the line, things go off the rails quickly.

Here’s my advice: First and foremost, settle on a monetary limit before invitations go out. Then to keep things fun, fair, and relatively peaceful, decide how many times each gift can be stolen before it’s off limits. And determine whether the person who drew first gets to steal or unwrap a final gift at the end. (I say yes!)

Game aside, the true golden rule is something I stand by in all areas of my life: Bring a good gift. What that means will change depending on the guests, but no junk, please. Even if your particular white-elephant party calls for gag gifts, make them gag gifts that people might actually want.

Below, some of the most-stolen gifts from my own white-elephant parties over the years:

• I first discovered this headlamp beanie at a white-elephant party where it was snatched up first by a 10-year-old boy and then by a man in his 50s. It’s the rare gift that appeals to both the bike-riding kid and to the adult whose vision is starting to betray them. I now bring one every year.
• Leaning into things that everyone uses — and loses — is a good bet. Two such things: quality water bottles and cute tote bags. I brought this trendy bottle wrapped in a tote bag from a local bookstore last year, and my cool niece ended up with it. But don’t overlook these Wirecutter-beloved bags, which come in both stylish and goofy prints, like leopard and “Fancy Dogs.”
• A sudden windfall appeals to literally everyone, but seems especially popular with children and teens. That’s why a well-wrapped collection of scratch-off lottery tickets is always a hit. (Of course, if they do win, an adult is going to have to collect on their behalf.)
• Tools and gadgets go over well. I love this vintage-looking pocket measuring tape, which gets points for style as well as usefulness. And although it’s not something I personally would swipe, this multi-bit screwdriver would be coveted by those players who always choose function over form.
• If you’re going for comedy, I can pretty much guarantee that this scatological dog puzzle will go over well with the 7 to 70 crowd. And I don’t know what it is about it, but this impressively bushy Chia Pet hits millennials and Gen Zers (and, honestly, this Gen Xer) right in the funny bone.
• If you’re aiming for something a little luxe, this compact set of makeup brushes is ingenious but won’t break the bank. This set of viral lip masks ensures teen interest, as do these mini metallic leather wallets.
• Finally, as someone who loves a design-y thing for the home, I’m hoping someone brings one of these acrylic neon plant stands this year — because I am definitely stealing it.

In the end, when all the gifts have been opened and stolen, remember, it’s not the particular item you end up with that counts. It’s how you played the game, which should be mercilessly.