This Simple Swap Took My Bathroom From Sad to Elevated
I had no idea a shower curtain could wield so much power until I tried to sell my house.
Real estate photos are like a first date: If they suggest that the place might smell odd or the owner has a philosophical objection to cleaning, it’s hard to recover. As I scanned the listing photos that were supposed to entice prospective buyers, I realized our bathroom needed an emergency overhaul, stat.
Instead of the chic, minimalist vibes I was going for, the bathroom read as bleak, sad — glimmers of Psycho, even. The ceiling appeared so low, I subconsciously ducked as I looked at the photos, and the short proportion pulled my focus to the floor, whose tile grout I now realized had morphed into a distressing brownish-yellow color.
I needed a quick solution; I had only a brisk 48 hours, after which the photographer would be coming back for reshoots. I knew from years of designing other people’s homes that one of the swiftest ways to heighten a room and draw the eye up (and away from any suspicious floor grout) is to mount curtains as high as possible. This trick also extends to shower curtains, an underutilized hack — likely because most standard shower curtains are a modest 72 inches in length. Also, finding stellar extra-long options is surprisingly challenging.
Considering my tight window, and the meager retail options for long curtains, I turned to Amazon. My Hail Mary arrived in less than 24 hours in the form of the Dynamene Extra Long Shower Curtain, which measured a regal 84 inches — perfect for my 8-foot ceiling. I elevated the rod and unfurled the fabric, and when my 9-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom, she casually asked if we had moved the ceilings up while she was at school. Success! For a little more than $25, the curtain was already raising the roof.
But that was just the beginning of my relationship with Dyna (as I’d taken to calling her). Not only do I think she sold my house, but I also loved her so much, I bought two more. When we moved into our new home in the thick of a New York City August, I hopped back over to Amazon and selected the burgundy and navy Dynas, this time in the 96-inch length, since our new place had taller ceilings.
The Dynamene curtain uses a polyester-blend fabric woven with a two-color yarn that yields the subtle appearance of movement. What that means, in practice, is that it has a mild sheen that feels crisp, looks expensive, and suggests that we’re the type of people who iron our shower curtain (we are not).
The company claims that the curtain’s density is three times that of a typical curtain. Whether or not that’s true, the evenly distributed weighted hem, combined with the heft of the polyester-blend fabric, makes the curtain hang elegantly, more like drapery than any other shower curtain I’ve encountered.
The curtain has a four layer–thick process coating and water-repellent construction. That means the polyester weave repels water, and I have found that water droplets and soap suds bead and roll off the fabric without soaking in. Dorie Chevlen, who writes Wirecutter’s guide to shower curtains, cites polyester weave as preferable for those of us who prefer a curtain sans liner. The fabric is also Oeko-Tex Standard 100–certified, which means it has been independently tested and found to be free of potentially harmful chemicals and substances, including PFAS above Oeko-Tex’s threshold.
I was also impressed by the variety of options to customize your curtain. The Dynamene curtain is available in 84- and 96-inch lengths, along with a slew of even more unusual options, such as 78 inches long and 180 inches wide. And the colors are impressive and lush; I initially went with the blush pink, a coquettish neutral, and later purchased the curtain in deeper hues.
Amazon flags it as being frequently returned due to color discrepancies, but for all three of the Dynas I’ve ordered, the color has actually been nicer in person than on my screen. In particular, the deep burgundy color, in concert with the brass rod and hooks I’ve paired it with, imbues a certain theatricality to my primary bathroom, which for me is a total bonus. Who doesn’t want to feel like they’re in the Moulin Rouge at bath time? (If that’s not you, there are 29 other colors to choose from.)
After nine months of using this curtain daily, I am still enamored with both its visual and practical aspects. Wirecutter’s shower curtain testing prioritizes durability, and Dyna aces both the laundry test (emerging with the same water repellency, color, and size as before washing) and the drying test (one corner of my burgundy curtain hits my shower stream and does get wet but dries within the hour). In between machine washes, the OxiClean-and-water spray solution recommended in Wirecutter’s shower curtain cleaning advice keeps things fresh.
Dyna is not without her humble flaws. The order comes with white plastic rings that don’t remotely match the quality of the curtain, and their inclusion seems wasteful, as many people have their preferred rings already on hand. A handful of reviews on Amazon describe the curtain as porous, leaking water onto the floor. That hasn’t been my experience, but it could signal inconsistencies in quality control. And while the curtain’s polyester weave is water-resistant, it will eventually absorb water if saturated; if your bathroom has low ventilation, you may want to add a liner.
Did we land an offer above asking price in a waning summer housing market? Why yes, thank you, we did. So while my extra-long curtain didn’t explicitly walk around my open house with a clipboard, baking cookies and speaking highly of the neighborhood, I know who to thank for closing the deal.
This article was edited by Katie Okamoto and Maxine Builder.
